Coffee Break (Part 4)

          The first week back after Thanksgiving, Ceta realized Que was right --- she’d lost all excitement for law school. She promised herself for the rest of the semester, she’d spend all of her energy renewing her excitement for her studies and catching up. But late into the evenings when Ceta watched the digital clock on her microwave change, she doubted it possible to maintain her goal in solitude. ​

           That night, Ceta tried resurrecting one of her college group chats with Adrianna and Leigh, her two roommates from college. They’d been close all throughout undergrad, but after graduation, Adrianna moved back to Arkansas to teach elementary school, and Leigh moved in with her boyfriend of one year, against Ceta and Adrianna’s advisement. The group’s interactions were few and far between after that. 
 
             Ceta: Hey! It’s been a while. What’s going on?
 
            Adrianna: Heeey! not much. You?
 
            Ceta: Taking a break from studying this weekend. What y’all up to?
 
            Leigh: Same old, same old. Christian and me might go see this superhero movie he’s been talking a    
                        lot about.
 
            Adrianna: Nice. Btw, Ceta, I’ll be in town this weekend for a teaching conference. We should all meet  
                               up Saturday night.
 
            Ceta’s heart lifted at the thought of spending time with people outside of the confines of the law school or Que. She couldn’t wait to give her pre-rehearsed “busy, but good,” response for the dreaded “how’s law school?” question. She knew them better than to bother following up on her cursory answer.
 
            Ceta wasn’t sure why she was nervous to see people she used to borrow toothpaste from, but she’d never known them as real adults, with jobs, and adult relationships, a life she couldn’t fully understand. In many ways, she admired them. They’d made something of themselves in a way that she hadn’t yet. She wasn’t ready to let go of the freedom that ambiguity afforded.
 
******
 
            On the weekend that Leigh came back to visit, it was damp outside. Ceta regretted her decision to wear suede boots as she traversed the glistening pavement leading up to Davison’s Cove. Once inside, Ceta wasted no time ordering her usual concoction and finding a free space next to the bar. The pulse of the music beat through Ceta’s chest as she quickly downed her colorful mixed drink. She shifted her weight from one foot to another, trying not to make eye contact with two ungainly blonde women conversing loudly and uncomfortably close to her. Ceta inched away from them, frowning into her glass instead of directly at the lush pair infringing on her personal space.     
 
            “Retail therapy?”

               Adrianna asked, as she approached from the bathrooms, pointing to Ceta’s boots while holding a beer in her right hand. She had arrived a while before Ceta and had made every minute count at the bar. Her right knee suffered collateral damage. Ceta was slightly impressed at her friend’s ability to throw them back like in their undergrad days. Although, at times, she found it slightly unbecoming for a woman working in early childhood education.  
 
            “I wish,” Ceta laughed. “How you feeling? You hit the ground pretty hard,” Ceta said scanning Adrianna for signs of injury.
 
            “A week with fifth graders is way worse than that little tumble. Thanks for asking though.”
 
               Ceta adjusted herself on the barstool, hooking her feet on the rungs below. Adrianna squinted at Ceta intently.  
 
            “What?” Ceta asked smiling uncomfortably.
 
            “What made you invite us out this weekend? You pregnant?” 
 
            “No!” Ceta laughed lifting her drink higher. And what do you mean, why would I not ask my friends to visit me every now and then?” 
 
         “I guess I wasn’t aware that we still were friends, the way you’ve been carrying on,” Adrianna said with a smirk. 
 
            “Woow, I don’t text you guys for a few days and suddenly we’re not friends?” Ceta asked nodding dramatically. 
 
           “You know that’s not what I meant. Ever since you started school, you stopped responding to the chat, so me and Leigh figured we’d stop bothering you and text each other direct. We talk all the time. We figured you might be phasing us out or something, I don’t know.”
 
            “Never... I know you guys are busy with your own lives and stuff. I try not to be a nuisance with all my issues. Nobody wants to hear me complaining all the time.” Ceta said.
 
            “Try me,” Adrianna said, taking a swig of her beer and sitting on the adjacent stool. 
 
            “I’ve just been struggling a bit with school that’s all. It’s more stressful than I thought it’d be. I mean, I’m glad to be here, it’s just… I wish it wasn’t all happening so fast. And Que…”
 
            “I can’t believe you’re still fucking with Que’s shifty ass,” Adrianna said taking another sip of beer, shaking her head. 
 
            “What’s shifty about him?” Ceta asked smiling incredulously.  
 
            “Let’s see. He disappears at random, got fifty-‘leven jobs but no money. Need I go on?”
 
Ceta tilted her head and squinted her eyes in annoyance.
 
            “Your personalities just clash, that’s all. He can’t stand you either,” said Ceta.
 
            “Because I know men like him, that’s why. I’m related to them.” Adrianna grimaced.
 
            “Anyways, he’s not the best person to talk to about this. He can’t relate, so I’ve just been keeping my head down. But I’ll do better, I promise. I do miss you guys,” urged Ceta.
 
            “Do you think it’d help to take a break for a semester? You could take some time to work, travel…recharge a bit. Maybe figure out if this is really what you wanna do?”
 
            Ceta turned looking directly into Adrianna’s glassy eyes, 
 
           “I know what I want to do. Everybody else is struggling too. I’m still adjusting, that’s it. First year is supposed to be the hardest. Once this year’s over, summer’s all the break I’ll need. I can focus on work and actually have a life for a little while.”
 
             Adrianna looked at Ceta out of the corner of her eye as she finished her last bit of beer. She nodded slowly making Ceta wonder if she’d left something out. 
 
            “Speaking of your real friend, where the heck is Leigh?” Ceta said checking the time on her cubic zirconia, pavé wristwatch. 
 
               “She didn’t text you? She said Christian wasn’t feeling well. She’s staying back to check on him,” said Adrianna placing her empty bottle on the bar, and rising from her stool. “She’ll be around tomorrow,” she shouted back to Ceta before throwing her hands up and heading in the direction of the music.
 
            Ceta took another gulp from her third tumbler of the night.
 
“Shocker,” she muttered.

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